


To the Moon

by boazpriestly



Series: No Matter What Universe We're In, I Will Always Find You [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Child Abuse, Childhood Trauma, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 07:13:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3200240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boazpriestly/pseuds/boazpriestly
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean will take Cas anywhere he wants to go, even to the moon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To the Moon

"I want to live here," Cas whispers. You strain to hear him, trying to pick up each word before it falls through the multitude of cracks in his voice. He needs to talk more, you always tell him. He’ll lose his voice if he keeps reserving it only for you on the days his parents forget that they’ve banned you from their house. 

"London?" You try to look at the map, instead of the cuts all over his hands and arms. Some of them are self-inflicted, you know, but most of them aren’t. You fight the urge to hold his fist in your hand and kiss his knuckles until the bruises go away. 

"Or somewhere close." Cas spins the globe, closes his eyes, and stops it with his finger; he lands on the UK again. He repeats the game three more times, stopping on the same place every time the globe stops.

"How do you keep doing that?" You ask, amazed.

"Lots of practice," Cas admits with a smile. He leans forward and kisses your mouth. "Will you take me there someday?"

Your heart aches. He sounds so tired, like he’s losing steam’ ready to give up this fight he’s been trying to win since he was thirteen. “Promise me something first?”

Cas purses his lips, but doesn’t answer. He knows what you’re going to ask, it’s the same thing you’ve been asking since you met him four years ago.

"Come live with me. At my house." Cas starts to shake his head so you grab his face and hold him still, forcing him to look at you. "We have an extra room, Cas. My mom loves you and so does Sam. You would be safe with us — with me. Please?"

"I can’t." The tears in his eyes don’t fall, but you wish they would, just so you can wipe them away and show him just how much you want to take care of him. It kills you so much to always have to be the one leaving him, knowing exactly what will happen to him the second you climb out his window or walk out the front door. His injuries are minor now, but you’ve cleaned up worse. He may have forced himself to forget the night he was rushed to the ER, but you will never forget how quickly a white rag turns red when you’re trying to clean up blood. "I only have a month left," Cas says after a minute. 

"A lot can happen in a month," you tell him. You’ve been counting down the days until his eighteenth birthday for as long as you can remember. The two of you had planned exactly what you were going to do the minute the clock hit midnight on Christmas; you have every step memorized to the last second. 

"I’ve survived this long." 

You want to be angry with him, want to scream at him for being so nonchalant about all of this. But you get it, sort of. If he didn’t distance himself from it in some way, he would’ve tried to kill himself again —, and he would’ve succeeded. 

So you nod, and drop your hands to your lap. You move forward and lay your head on his lap. He runs his fingers through your hair, then bends down and kisses your temple. 

"Will you take me there someday?" Cas asks again. 

"I’ll take you anywhere you want, Cas." 

"Even to the moon?" 

"Yeah," you say as you pull his hand to your lips and kiss his palm. "Even to the moon."


End file.
